Sunday, November 4, 2012

Janet Beck Clark - The Funeral

Thanks to Cousin Julie and Aunt Jeanine for passing along this quote and thank you to Cousin Debbie for taking pictures at the funeral.

"'After the first death, there is no other' [Dylan Thomas].  That doesn't mean the ones that come after won't break your heart, but it is the first that punches your soul's passport.  Welcome, fellow human, to a different country than the one you woke up to this morning.  The air is different here; so is the scenery.  Your knees don't work so well; in fact, you may want to fall to them.

For a precious little while, you are allowed to be stunned into silence, or to shriek, or to talk - recounting stories of who [she] was, what [she] meant to you, and how it all came to an end.  Tell those stories.

For some of us the stay in the new country seems endless.  But time passes, and, truly, would those we grieve for want us to mope?  Come with me, back in the world.  We'll return to this land all too soon, but in the meantime the garden needs weeding, the bills need paying.  Your other loved ones need you."
- from How to Grieve, by Larkin Warren 

As much as my mom did not want displays at her funeral - we felt we would be remiss if we did not honor her in this way.  I think she would have been pleased.
 This table displayed fine art representing her children.

 Her lovely and unique botanical art.

My mother was born in St. George and had a passion for Southern Utah.  We thought it was only fitting for us each to sprinkle a handful of red sand into her grave.  We did this while my cousin played hymns on the violin.  It was very moving and one of the most memorable parts of the day.

Extended family and friends also took part in the gesture.

At the end my father joked, "Does anyone want to make an ant farm?"  It felt good to laugh.  (This was the type of sand they used in the ant farms they sold at The Naturalist.)

Dave and Connie did us the huge service of watching and entertaining Sarah Jane through the day.
Grandpa Great pulled Isaac aside to sing him a little song.

I am so grateful for my dear friends.  So many have helped me through this difficult time.

It was a very sad and beautiful day.  One I will never forget.


Nann from At Nann's Table said...

Emily I am so deeply touched by these photos. I did not know of your mothers death until 15 minutes before the funeral and was just sick inside. Val and I would have so liked to have gone to the viewing and funeral too. Your beautiful blog post has brought us to see and feel this very spiritual event. Our hearts go out to you Emily and your family. I know how very close you were to your mother. Our prayers are with you that you may be comforted now and through the difficult months ahead. THANKYOU for sharing your mothers passing with those of us who did not know about it and did not get to attend to give you our support and sincere condolescences. We love you!!! Nancy and Val

Ann Mitchell said...

I am so sorry at the loss of your mother and grandmother. I LOVE the quilt on top...that is so cool!!! But, my favorite is the red sand! I, too, was born in St. George. My father taught at the college, and I lived there through kindergarten. Of course, I returned to Dixie College! When I graduated from Dixie Jr. College, the Alumni Association gave us a jar with red sand. It had this poem: "I thought I'd find a new life, and leave the past behind...but the rocks and sands of Dixie keep running through my mind."

Kacy Faulconer said...

Thanks for sharing this. Us first generation "mommy bloggers" will be going through all these life experiences together.